Senior Care Academy
Senior Care Academy is a podcast dedicated to providing valuable information and expert advice on navigating the world of senior care for both senior care providers, and families with aging parents. Hosted by industry professionals, each episode covers a wide range of topics including healthcare options, legal considerations, financial planning, and emotional support for caregivers. If you are a healthcare provider, have aging parents, or are a senior adult, this podcast is for you! Tune in to gain valuable insights and resources to help you make informed decisions and provide the best care for your loved ones.
Senior Care Academy
Empathy and Connection: Monique's Journey in Senior Care
Ever wondered what it truly takes to make a meaningful impact in senior care? In this episode, Monique shares how her close-knit family background and unique professional experiences equipped her with the skills to connect deeply with seniors, transforming her roles into a fulfilling career path. Her story is a testament to the power of genuine passion and dedication in reshaping lives, both of caregivers and the elderly they serve.
Explore the heartwarming and challenging aspects of building relationships with seniors as Monique recounts her experiences. We also address the emotional challenges caregivers face, especially during end-of-life care, and how maintaining a positive outlook can lead to personal growth and fulfillment. It's a reminder of the profound impact caregivers can have when they embrace each client's unique journey.
Welcome to Senior Care Academy. Today we have a special guest, monique. She's been working with Helperly for going on two years, had various different roles. She's been just exceptional to work with and has really unique insight into the minds of seniors, into working with seniors. I'm really excited to have her on. Monique, welcome, thank you. So first I want you to kind of walk everybody through the different roles you've had at Helperly, and then which ones have been your most fulfilling or your favorite.
Speaker 2:I think they all have for just different reasons. But I first started as a caregiver. That's when we were grandkids.
Speaker 1:I think it was.
Speaker 2:And then I had one client then and that was so chaotic because my husband had just had a stroke, so trying to get everything back and started again, it was really crazy. But yeah, I started with one client and I was like, all right, well, is there any more? And so we just piled my schedule on and I was working like seven days a week at that point for almost a year, pretty much. I don't know. I love meeting new people, but I also love the role I have now too is scheduling, and I get to hear from a lot of our caregivers themselves build a relationship that way too. We don't get many of opportunity to meet face to face. So you know, everybody still thinks I'm Evan on the text.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's funny. What did your experience look like before Helperly? We talked a little bit about the hiring, how you saw the ad and you're like, wait, I would do this stuff for free. So I'm curious the type of person that wants to work with seniors. What led you to Helperly? What did you do before? What got you into caregiving?
Speaker 2:Actually, I did a lot before I caregiving. Actually, I did a lot before I worked for a couple of different cruise lines Princess and Holland.
Speaker 1:Like on the ship, no, in the call centers. That's been sweet.
Speaker 2:It was. It was really nice. And a lot of people, especially the elderly clients, they've literally saved their entire lives to do this big trip and they want to go someplace like Europe and do like Italy and Greece and all of that and it's you're helping build a lifelong dream for them. So it's nice, you know, and I'm depending on how what their financial status was, you know kind of throughout they sometimes do a big, huge trip with their whole family. So that's really fun too. Yeah, I did that. I worked at some casinos, I was a cashier, I did all kinds of stuff.
Speaker 1:What do you feel like kind of throughout your life helped prepare you to work with seniors or in like the senior care space?
Speaker 2:My family. I have my dad's side's, a large Italian family.
Speaker 2:And my mom is more of a Northern European style and they immigrated over here. They were in Illinois and then from Illinois my grandfather was a cop, like during the 20s and stuff there, and I was like all right, I'm not going to raise my kids here and packed up the entire family, not just his wife and kids, but his mother and father-in-law as well, and moved him over to Seattle and from there on everybody in my family has always been very, very close in it, like I always grew up around all my aunts and my uncles, great aunts, great uncles, grandparents, you know everything. Everybody was always so, very close. So when anybody got sick or injured it was always us, always taking you know shifts and making sure they're fed and cleaned and you know going to appointments and things like that.
Speaker 2:So it wasn't anything completely foreign.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's interesting, like you kind of had the background in your life already working with seniors. So when you saw or got into senior care yeah, we were talking a few weeks ago and you mentioned like I saw the hiring ad and I was like what the I do this for free? Or like I guess is that what doing it for free was? You had all your great aunts and great uncles.
Speaker 2:I would do. Well, it's one of those things like even in like elementary school doing like choir, Girl Scouts, things like that. They always have you go and like sing or volunteer at an old folks home and that was always fun and cute. But then you know you want to do stuff when you get older, but then it's always monetarily limited because you can't dedicate as many hours as you'd like to doing the stuff you want to do. You have to do the stuff you have to do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so fun. Yeah, that's cool. You're able to do the things that you grew up doing and volunteering, but being able to kind of have that care aspect of it, what would you say has been, over the last two years, the most rewarding part about working with seniors? Because you've worked with quite a few different clients with a huge array of different needs. Absolutely what's been what do you find being the most rewarding, and why is it?
Speaker 2:So, as an example, with Brian, when I saw him it was only a few hours every week when I first started with him, but then it moved up to what like 40 hours a week with him full time.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and so when his health started to decline, it was always me that was there. I was the one that was trying to coordinate everything, whether it's through his daughter, his doctors, his case manager, us, the hospitals, like everything. And so when anything happened, I knew what to do, where to go, you know, and just making sure Because no matter if it's your family and you know they're in good hands at a doctor or a hospital or a facility of any kind, you personally having your hands and knowing what's going on, that always makes you feel a little better, and when you work with somebody for so long, you build that kind of relationship with them. You know my kids would go and see them and we'd do stuff like going to parades, and you know stuff like that, even on, you know, my off days.
Speaker 1:So why do you find that being so rewarding? I feel like there's a lot of people, a lot of people, see caregiving as very like entry level position that they're trying to scale out of as quickly as they can and so that all their clients you know they care for them, but it's very like transient, meaning you know it's a limited time or like a limited season of their life, versus it seems like for you it's something that you actually dive deep and you want to develop that relationship. So where do you feel like that comes from and why is why is that so rewarding?
Speaker 2:Man again. I always had my grandparents my grandparents. Unfortunately, I lost them when I was young. I was like 16 to 18. By the time, I'd lost all my grandparents.
Speaker 1:Man, that's hard.
Speaker 2:So trying to have. I guess it's just having that kind of relationship again. It's just nice because a lot of times they're forgotten about. Even if they do have family, they're having to work to support their family. They don't have all the time to come by and hang out and do things with, but we're literally paid to be able to do this so you know you can have that time.
Speaker 2:You don't have to worry about so much time restrictions and things like that it's nice. So much time restrictions and things like that it's nice. And it's not. As long as you go into it, I think, with the attitude that it's not just a job or this is something you have to do, I think you'd really be surprised at how well of a relationship you can build with somebody over time. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I love that. I think that more people in the space need to kind of have that mindset of going into it. It's not about, you know, just getting a paycheck, or it's just about, you know, I'm clocking in, I'm here for two, four, six, 10 hours, I'm here to for the next you know however long this client's alive, or like Like I'm here and it is pretty cool to kind of have that same mindset like of going in and helping. And it is a long-term relationship and anything that I can do to help them. I want to and yeah, it's just important. I think it'd be awesome if more people had that mindset especially direct care staff, the frontline people.
Speaker 1:I think they get jaded, sometimes like over time. I don't know different reasons. I think they get jaded sometimes like over time. I don't know different reasons. You know, maybe they have had different difficult clients or lost too many. Yeah, I was. I had a conversation last week or the last guest, cameron Harrison. He talked about how end of life is really hard and when you lose a client. But he's like, if you see every single client that you lose as like a death and it's just like I'm always around death, but then switching it to being like yeah, it's a perspective I'm learning from 70, 80 years of experience and this is just a phase of their life that I get to. You know, help, help them, send them off to whatever's out there yeah.
Speaker 1:It becomes like a beautiful thing and I think that's a big one. A beautiful thing and I think that's a big one. But so I guess, how have you stayed in the industry and you've had a lot of different difficult experiences with clients. What's helped you to stay positive and not kind of get jaded over the last little while?
Speaker 2:Oh, you just have to remember every person, regardless of age, they're going to be different. Not every situation is going to be the same. And just because you may not mesh well with the one doesn't mean you won't with the next. And some people they just expect different things and some people are willing to give different things. So, it's, you know you, always it's about perspective. Again, you just try your best, try to see things from where they're from and what they're trying to accomplish, and try to work it out as best you can.
Speaker 2:And sometimes it just doesn't, and that's nobody's fault, it's just two completely different personalities and you just have to not take it personally and be like all right, that didn't work On to the next and maybe they'll be better for so-and-so and just keep at it that way, because I mean we've had some that we've had clients go through a lot of caregivers and they haven't found theirs yet.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I love that. It's like it doesn't make the client bad, it doesn't make the caregiver bad, it doesn't make one or the other good. It's just not a good fit and there's some other senior out there that you can help and it'll be a perfect fit and you can become basically, like I said, almost like honorary grandparents to you and you want to spend and take them to the parade on off out, like yeah, yeah, like there's somebody out there. So I think I like that just keep on working and you'll find those seniors that you can really connect on to and that they can connect on to you and just share. It's a really cool relationship that seniors have like the phase of the life that they're in. The relationship that they want is somebody that they can like share their life experiences with, like be kind of a mentee or be a mentor to them.
Speaker 1:So it's pretty cool, like when you find that person you're like, even if you hear the same story over and over. It's like they're trying to teach you and that's what they feel like they need to do. That's really cool. Have you ever had a senior client that you had to work with that was closed off or like resistant to getting any sort of help? I feel like that's common.
Speaker 2:I mean not completely closed off or shut down to like everything. But my first client. She did not want anybody giving her a shower whatsoever and then by the time she'd had what I think it was her third or fourth heart attack and she just didn't have the strength to get herself into the shower, let alone bathe herself and everything. Then her complaint was they won't wash her everywhere and they hand her the rag and she couldn't even lift it to do it.
Speaker 2:So you know, it just goes from one thing to the next, and it's especially, I have found, with women. When they hit a certain age they just want to refuse everything, and then you just kind of have to kind of work and chip away at it a little bit by a little bit, like they only want you to water the plants Okay, great, that's done. Okay, now you want to water the plants? Okay, that's fine. I want you to feed the cat? Okay, I'll feed the cat. No, no, no, don't feed the cat. Okay, I won't feed the cat.
Speaker 2:You know it, just it's a little bit, little bit, and once they see that, you know you can actually work with somebody that it's okay.
Speaker 2:But her big thing, I think, is she was done. Yeah, how do you in situations like that, how are you able to still provide care and then build that trust? And when she would feed her, especially her wet food, she would spill it all over the floor. Oh, so I would just go in before she even got up out of bed and I would just go and feed the cat her wet food, make sure she had her water, love on her a little bit and then get her coffee ready. Just pay attention to little things, like she was was diabetic, so she couldn't have regular sugar, so she just wanted two percent milk, and you know just the little things. So when they see that you're actually paying attention and that you're noticing things, or you just oh okay, you like bacon and eggs for breakfast too, let me go ahead and I'll get that made, or whatever they start seeing, oh okay, I can start to trust this person. You know they're not as bad as I was making them out to be in my head and you know.
Speaker 1:I like that, like giving, taking the time to notice the small things and just doing it for them, almost like nonchalantly, rather than them needing to ask for everything. I feel like that is true. Like a lot of times they either aren't willing to ask for stuff or they're not sure if they should, so kind of taking charge as the person that's caring for them to build that rapport. I like that a lot. That's smart.
Speaker 2:And especially with women, they've. You know, us women, we've always ran our households, however big or small, and when somebody else comes in and you think they're just going to come in and just sweep through and take over everything, yeah, that's hard. You'll meet a little resistance.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's true. Well, any senior, they've been in charge of all of their, all of their affairs for 60, 70, 80 years and now somebody is coming in to help even schedule doctor's appointment, like a lot of these things that are they've never needed help and so it can kind of feel like a loss, I think, probably for them when you go in and and help take over some small things or clean up the house or you know help, especially something as sensitive like personal care, that it's hard to like, let that go, so you have to, especially to somebody that you've barely met. So it is, it is a challenge, I think, to overcome that, but I love that. It's like take, take initiative, find small ways to build rapport so that way, even not even totally consciously, they can start to build that trust Cause, like, oh, my gosh, monique took care of my cat without me even noticing, or like, oh my gosh, my cat feels softer.
Speaker 1:I wonder if, and then, like they think in the back of mind, they're able to correlate that you know the cat being taken care of with Monique and they're like this is great, yeah, yeah. Are there, in your opinion, are there, any emotional tolls to the work that you do?
Speaker 2:Yeah, when you have somebody who's got like Alzheimer's dementia, that's hard, that's really hard because you'll have the same conversation and that's fine. You know, there was one lady and she would say, all right, how are you today? And you'd be like, okay, great, I'm fine, how are you? Oh, so how many people did you see today?
Speaker 2:And you like, oh, you're number two and then I get to go home, or you're number two and then I have one more after, and then I get to go home, and she would ask at least 15, 20 times every time and her visits were only like two hours long oh man, yeah, yeah but she's the sweetest lady and she wasn't like meant any harm or anything, but you can see when, like, she got really irritated and agitated.
Speaker 2:One night she went back to like when she was before she was nine years old. She lost her father when she was nine and she looked at me across the table and was just like so when time is my dad going to be here to take me to school?
Speaker 1:Oh man, that is really hard.
Speaker 2:Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry there's no school today. Oh yeah, I mean, when you work with Alzheimer's and dementia patients and things like that, you learn that you don't go. You're 86 years old. You have not been to school in, you know 40 odd years and you know you, you just have to like kind of play into it and yeah. Oh, there's no school today. It's okay, we can just stay home today, oh man.
Speaker 1:That is really hard, like I could imagine that. That is emotionally hard Cause you see this grown person that's lived, like I said, 80 something years and yet you're kind of having to parent them almost, or like you, I mean, you're their primary person, so that's that really is tough, with the emotional toll that there is what makes it ultimately like worth it in the end to continue working with seniors, do you think?
Speaker 2:Perspective. I mean again, like a lot of these people that we see, they may or they may not have family. They may or may not have a whole network of people, their LDS, their wards or you know. Whatever the case may be, but they're all like our age and they're all having to work full time jobs. They've got kids or you know, they've got other things going on. They wish they could dedicate that much time to it, but they can't. And then there's, you know, caregiver burnout, which is especially high with family because it's their family.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they weren't. They stopped being daughter or son and they start being caregiver, cna, and it's like totally different.
Speaker 2:And that burns them out faster than even us.
Speaker 1:So yeah, as far as perspective with working with seniors and like seeing that stage of the human life, what kind of perspective shift do you think it's had on you over the last two years?
Speaker 2:Slow down. Slow down because this moment it's fleeting. Take a step back and appreciate and enjoy everything you have, because you never know when it's going to be gone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's a great answer. Just slow down because it is's going to be gone. Yeah, I think that's a great answer. Just slow down. And because it is ultimately going to be gone. Whatever this moment is it's whether you're raising kids or you're in the middle of your career, or like you're super young and healthy, or like it's always eventually it's going to come to an end. So, like, take it all in and stop trying to rush to the next thing. I love that. Yes, the last few questions. It's about insight and advice. So one is how do you feel being a direct working, both kind of on the management side helping all of the caregivers get work and helping them help people and then directly helping seniors themselves? How do you think the senior care space is going to evolve and change over the coming years, with, like, new seniors coming in that are a little bit more tech savvy and things like that?
Speaker 2:I think that'll be fun. Actually, it'll have more of a connection if we do some more stuff that's tech worthy. You know it. Just you know our younger generation, that's all they're on. I mean, they walk around like this, phones in their face, all day every so and teach them how to send an email or open a chat window so they can communicate with their family more directly. Some people don't want to do phones, so computer is a great way you know, because, we do have some that just absolutely detest cell phones. Yeah.
Speaker 1:I like that, though I mean over coming years, as people get more tech savvy and used to it, I think it'll definitely close the gap between the seniors, their family and their staff, the direct care staff that are working with their senior. Like that, open communication, hopefully will bridge the gap and make it smaller and smaller on the day-to-day of what's happening with mom and dad, you know.
Speaker 2:Exactly, it's easier to update the kids and whoever else on their family side, you know.
Speaker 1:It's nice yeah.
Speaker 2:Because you can just shoot a quick text message. This is what happened today. Do you want to think you can give her a call, or him a call, or whatever, and just see that they're okay?
Speaker 1:tonight Checking on them. Yeah, you know it's nice the the last question is what advice would you give to somebody who's just getting into the senior care space?
Speaker 2:There's so many I could say Just really honestly just slow down, take the time and get to know the person that you're with and again, they may not be the person for you, but find out Really, search around and see, and if not, then that's fine, there's going to be somebody else. But try and build a good relationship with them, not just making sure they're bathed and dressed and fed and out the door they go. You know yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:They're not kids. So yeah, can't just shove them out the door and say, okay, bye. Yeah, I love that.
Speaker 1:I think that's great advice because that's how you can stay in it for a long time and that's how it does make it hurt more I think a little bit if they do end up passing on. But it also makes it more of a beautiful moment because you're actually a participant in that last stage of their life, rather than just somebody that came and visited, you know, or helped out or switched a catheter or showered them. You know, like you're a part of it.
Speaker 1:So it's worth taking the moment to slow down. It makes it. I think it does help a lot with caregiver burnout to see the people that you're visiting as humans and see them. As it's kind of fun to think about seniors. You know, if they're 70, think about them 60 years ago. What is that In the 1960s as teenagers? And like think about them 60 years ago, what is that In the 1960s as teenagers, and like think about all the trends of that and it's like that is a, that's who I'm helping, like it's really cool. So slow down, get to know them.
Speaker 2:Take the time it takes and actually enjoy the journey. They have some amazing stories, yeah, If you just take the time to listen. Ask them questions if you want. But yeah, it's funny some of the stories they come up with Love it Well.
Speaker 1:Thanks so much, monique. I am very convinced that if the world had more Moniques, especially senior care had more Moniques, there'd just be a lot less sad people and lonely seniors and there'd just be a lot more stuff. So you're, you've been excellent. I love having you on the team. I love the insights that you have into working with seniors.
Speaker 2:So thanks for taking a little bit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sweet.