Senior Care Academy - A Helperly Podcast
Senior Care Academy is the podcast for caregivers, senior care providers, and families with aging loved ones. Hosted by experienced professionals, we explore essential topics like elder care planning, dementia support, financial advice, and emotional wellness for caregivers.
Each episode offers expert insights, practical tips, and resources to help you navigate senior care with confidence. Whether you're a healthcare provider, a family member supporting aging parents, or a senior adult seeking guidance, this podcast delivers actionable advice tailored to your needs.
Subscribe now for in-depth discussions, expert interviews, and real-world solutions to improve the quality of care for the seniors in your life.
Senior Care Academy - A Helperly Podcast
Sheryl Bagshaw's Guide to Empathy in Caregiving and Dementia
Discover the heart and soul of geriatric social work with our special guest, Sheryl of Utah case Management.
Sheryl is a seasoned expert in dementia care who discovered her affinity for senior care early on when adopting a grandparent in elementary school and honed through years of professional dedication. She is an experienced care expert, author, and advocate for elevated dementia care in the state of Utah.
Throughout the episode, Sheryl shares poignant stories that highlight the unique challenges and rewards of working with individuals with dementia. Her experiences illuminate the enduring nature of core emotions and memories, even as other cognitive functions decline. She provides thoughtful strategies for addressing the needs of dementia patients, emphasizing the power of empathy and understanding. Sheryl also offers invaluable advice for caregivers, stressing the significance of education, training, and a supportive approach that prioritizes safety, security, and love.
You don't want to miss this special episode with Sheryl!
Thank you. Cheryl's impressive career includes roles as a skilled nursing social worker, a case manager and dementia care community director. She's also a dedicated educator and trainer. Beyond her professional achievements, cheryl's the co-author of Dementia from the Wrong End of the Bed, a guide for caregivers navigating the complexities of dementia care. In this episode, we'll explore her extensive experience in case management, discuss the challenges of navigating government systems and hear her insights on improving care for seniors. Cheryl, welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 2:Thank you, it's great to be here, yeah.
Speaker 1:I always want to start out with what inspired you to specialize in geriatric social work and dementia care. What got you started?
Speaker 2:Believe it or not, it started in like kindergarten or first grade.
Speaker 1:That's hard to believe. Most five-year-olds aren't thinking I want to work with the elderly. That's interesting.
Speaker 2:We had a program and I believe it was in first grade in which we adopted a grandparent.
Speaker 1:I love that.
Speaker 2:And so went to the nursing home and adopted a grandparent and visited them several times throughout the year, and I just always had a love for seniors.
Speaker 1:That's awesome and with that, so you had an adopted grandparent. Did you have your grandparents as well? Just kind of grown up.
Speaker 2:Yes, so my grandparents, my grandmother, actually died when I was about nine years old, but she was my best friend. I loved my grandmother. She did all kinds of things with me. Um, we went to the hair salon together and just, uh, you know fun stuff, and my grandfather was always very supportive. Um, uh, we were very big into music in my family and he made sure all of us had musical instruments. And, yeah, he was, he was wonderful, he was had a sense of humor too.
Speaker 1:So what drew you, especially at such a young age, to older adults? What is it about older adults and about your adopted grandparent that just made it so? You wanted to continue working with them.
Speaker 2:I think it was just their their wisdom and insight and the fun stories and just information about their lives that, um, their lives were very different from ours. And so, uh, yeah, just I think that's what, what inspired me honestly.
Speaker 1:I love that. Is there a story that you remember being shared with you from your adopted grandparent from all these years ago?
Speaker 2:You know it's interesting. Um, she always had peanut brittle from your adopted grandparent from all these years ago. You know it's interesting, she always had peanut brittle, For some reason, peanut brittle was her thing, and so.
Speaker 2:I always remember eating peanut brittle with my adopted grandmother, but as far as a story that really inspired me was from my grandfather, who made the comment that our world changed when the telephone wasn't invented. Because he said, before the telephone we used to walk down the street and we would stop and we would talk to Mrs So-and-so. And we walk a little further and we'd talk to Mrs So-and-so and he said now we don't even know who our neighbors are.
Speaker 1:That's an interesting consequence or like consequence or side consequence of telephones I think people don't think about, especially think telephones was a start, and then social media definitely has like exacerbated that, where it's like I can just check on Facebook see what's going up If I'm curious, rather than I need to call or even walk down the road and see how my cousin's doing. It's like let me just that you think about him, you look it up and they never even know that you thought about them versus like that actual connection Right. So at that young age cause you are a big advocate of with, or you're a national dementia practitioner, a validation worker at, as you were younger, in your school years, did you ever have an adopted grandparent that suffered with or that went through dementia and Alzheimer's?
Speaker 2:You know it's interesting, I didn't. I did not have a grandparent or an adopted grandparent or anyone in my life that had dementia.
Speaker 1:So what pulled you towards it?
Speaker 2:I started out as a CNA. So when I was going to college, right before college and in college, I worked as a CNA and that's when I started working with individuals who had dementia. And I didn't know it, but I had a natural knack of being able to work with those individuals knack of being able to work with those individuals. And it wasn't until later in school when I learned about Naomi File and validation and I went oh, that's what I'm doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think the most caring and patient people have a knack for it. Because you have to be those things. How has the dementia practitioner and validation worker, how did those certificates inform and change your work with dementia clients and their families versus before, where you're like I'm kind of doing it, but now you're actually educated on it?
Speaker 2:different tactics and different skills, and I was fortunate to be able to actually meet.
Speaker 1:Naomi.
Speaker 2:Pfeil and to be able to go to a presentation that she gave. It was actually a day-long training, and so I got it straight from her, so not only am I certified in it, but I actually learned from the master.
Speaker 1:So you've been in the space for a few decades. At what point did you go or really kind of dive into the dementia aspect of it, like how long have you been a practitioner and everything like that?
Speaker 2:So that happened, I think, a little bit later in my career. I was using those skills and I was working with individuals with dementia, but it wasn't until I got the certifications, and that was a little bit later on and since like 2013.
Speaker 1:Oh nice, it's been a little while 2012. That's awesome.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. So I really jumped into working with individuals with dementia, and then about that time is when I also became the leader of Okay Sorry.
Speaker 1:You're good, we'll be able to chop it. The listeners won't even know you had a brain fart.
Speaker 2:Um, so actually, I, I want to go back. I. It was actually, uh, 2010 that I started working with more with individuals with dementia. I started working as a social worker at at the time, it was Silverado senior living, and then after that, I was the director of the reminiscence floor at sunrise. So and it was it was around that time that I got a lot of my certifications and worked a lot with the Alzheimer's Association, and now I'm on the Alzheimer's and Related Dementia Board for the state.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yeah. Within a matter of 15 years, you're all the way in what are some of the most memorable moments from these past 15 years of working in the dementia field.
Speaker 2:I think it's the specific individuals that I've worked with and just some of their um, the the fun things that they say and do. Um, yeah, I could write a book about about the funny things that they say and do. Um, it's not always, but it's just. I love people and I love their, the interactions that I have with them, and so I think that that's probably those are the things that I remember the most is, you know, the cute little things that they would do and say yeah, I think one of my favorite lessons that it's like an underlying and unspoken lesson that you can get from people going through dementia.
Speaker 1:So we had a client come or not a client a son of somebody going through dementia. His mom had dementia and he said that every time he, like she looks right at him and says, corbin, I love you, like she remembers his name, she remembers that she loves him. Um, and I think it's interesting when you talk to people with dementia, a lot of times they have similar stories or like anecdotes that they go through, and it's a cool kind of call out for me that these are the things that even when you know they're kind of losing their faculties, that's what is a matter like stuck around in their mind, and so it's a cool thing to think about because sometimes it is like love or it's these core memories from 30 years ago, like it's just the thing that actually matters to them is what stuck around, and so it's like man, I should focus more on those things in my life because if that's what deep down.
Speaker 2:They are still those people that they were before you know, deep down that that personality is still there.
Speaker 2:And I think one of my favorite clients yeah, couldn't really form sentences, a lot of what she had was just word salad and so she would be in your face and and all this word salad coming out and she'd usually be very animated and so that kind of turned people off. But knowing that her, the language she was speaking, was actually love speaking of and that's what she needed and wanted, was that love and attention. If you just reached out and gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, she was happier than happy. And so people who would be frightened of her, I would tell them don't be scared, Just give her love. That's what she needs.
Speaker 1:How do you recognize what they need when they yeah?
Speaker 2:it's trial and error Cause.
Speaker 1:I mean it could have gone the opposite way, where you reach in to give her a hug and she starts freaking out and it's like, oh no, so how do you learn those things?
Speaker 2:Um, I think a lot of it is just experience. But, um, you know, in social work we know about Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and so needs are usually based on, you know, at first you have like the lower level of needs, which is just your physical needs.
Speaker 1:You know someone who's?
Speaker 2:constantly, you know grabbing at something, and you realize oh, she's thirsty, she just can't open the bottle of water you know or you know, and then the next step, of course, is safety and security, and to know that most of them are stuck in safety and security.
Speaker 1:I mean, if you think about it.
Speaker 2:When you have dementia, everything is different.
Speaker 1:The world Every day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, every day. Everything that happens doesn't make sense, and so it makes sense that those individuals would be frightened, and so if you realize that the main thing that is happening with them is that they're scared, that brings a whole different perspective to how you interact with individuals who have dementia, you always have to kind of reset the bar where they make sure that they feel safe and feel secure, and then it's like, okay, now.
Speaker 2:And then they have to feel love, and then they have to feel needed and wanted and like they have a purpose.
Speaker 1:I had a.
Speaker 2:I had a gentleman who, um I he, he basically thought that he ran the company which the dementia floor yeah.
Speaker 1:Um the company, the dementia floor, because he was a CEO of his own company, and so he thought that he was in charge the main cheese, yeah, and so he never went to activities.
Speaker 2:His activity was to be constantly in my office. And so we had to find things for him to do. He would pick something up and start to take off with it, and you know, normally you would say hey, no, no, give that back. I need that, yeah, but if you do that, the automatic reaction is for them to know this is mine.
Speaker 1:In his world he's like I'm the boss, I need to take this to wherever.
Speaker 2:So I had to get creative, you know and ask him if he wanted me to send that out. You know, do you want me to mail that, or?
Speaker 1:would you like me to?
Speaker 2:send that memo.
Speaker 1:And he'd hand it right back to me.
Speaker 2:So, yeah, I think what we forget with individuals who have dementia is that they're just like us. We are just like them. The difference is they don't have that thing that says to them don't say that, don't do that, that's wrong. And so for us to realize that a lot of their behaviors are just exactly what we would do in the same situation.
Speaker 1:We just have a higher baseline.
Speaker 2:We just have that shield that tells us you're not supposed to do that, you're not supposed to say that you know and they don't.
Speaker 1:So that's an interesting kind of misconception, like where they're just like us, we're just like them. As a dementia educator and trainer, are there any other common misconceptions that you find yourself needing to correct, and over and over and over?
Speaker 2:Yes, and the biggest one, I think, is that we like to say that we we need to do some behavior management. Hmm, you don't manage the behaviors of individuals with dementia. You manage your behavior, which changes their reaction to what's going on. So a lot of times when I go into situations and the family's saying help, we don't know what to do. It's not something that the demented person needs to do, it's something that the family needs to do or change to meet the need of the individual who has dementia.
Speaker 1:That's a cool thing because it kind of puts that back into your control, versus I feel like probably a lot of the families you first engage with they're like it's out of control, I don't know what to do, and that's my least favorite feeling in life ever is feeling out of control of something, and so at that point it's back in your control, of like, okay, well, now I can change my behavior and help influence mom or dad, and so that's an. I think it's an empowering thing. You know, it would be nice. It's easier to be like oh, it's mom or dad's fault, I can't control them, but it's more empowering to say it's actually in my control to be able to help them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and you're not going to control someone who has dementia A lot of times like the biggest thing that I tell families all the time is allow them to be demented. They have dementia. It's like telling someone with diabetes no, you can't have diabetes or you can't have a high blood sugar today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, just eat more sugar, right.
Speaker 2:So you just have to learn how to manage that and it's it's not managing them, it's managing you and what you're doing. Um, a big example is individuals who have difficulty when it comes to like bathing and dress and dressing and grooming and, um, I always tell families, first you have to set the stage. You got to make it nice and warm in that bathroom. I'm not taking off my clothes and getting in a shower in a cold room.
Speaker 2:You know, get the water running, get the idea in their head that this is what we're doing. Ask them do you want to have a shower before breakfast or after? You know, let them have some say in what's happening, because that's a big thing. For when I go in and work with families in their homes, a lot of times I'll hear the person with dementia say she's just telling me what to do all the time and we don't want to put ourselves in a position of we're just constantly yeah, nobody wants to be constantly just constantly commanding. Yeah, nobody wants to be constantly commanded all day long.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what advice would you have for families or professionals getting into the space of supporting loved ones or clients with dementia Just barely starting.
Speaker 2:I would say, yeah, get some training, get some education. Read my book.
Speaker 1:Yeah, can't endorse some education.
Speaker 2:Read my book, yeah, no, because you, if you can learn from people who've been there and done that and and who've already had some training, that's it's extremely helpful. Yeah, I would say, get as much education as you can.
Speaker 1:Awesome. I have kind of a an interesting question. I've read different studies that talk about how one said like four out of 10 cases of dementia could be delayed just by being kind of more engaged leading up to that. I imagine all engagement isn't created equal. So what kind of things can people do to try to prevent whether it's super early onset, or to try to avoid it altogether 10 years before any sort of thing? What would you recommend?
Speaker 2:All of the things that that you know your doctor recommends.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Eat right, get exercise. Sleep is extremely important. I don't think people realize that sleep is what clears our brain of the bad stuff, Like our phones.
Speaker 1:you clear the cache and it operates faster. Your brain clears.
Speaker 2:Exactly, Exactly, yeah. So yeah, all the things that your doctor would tell you to do. That's what you need to be doing, and socialization is extremely important. Those individuals who sit in front of a TV all day long not good. They've got to have social interaction. No-transcript.
Speaker 1:That's interesting. So it can kind of fire as the music is going through. It can fire up different little parts of your brain.
Speaker 2:And it can affect everyone because no matter where your brain has the issue or the problem you know in dementia, it doesn't matter because anyone can access. Go around it. Yes.
Speaker 1:What kind of socialization is your favorite? Obviously music, but are there other things that just it doesn't even have to be, like um, like proven better, like just something that you love?
Speaker 2:It can be it can be the simplest um brain games. You know sort sorting things, or um, you know, my favorite is, you know match, match the card. Or you know just the simplest brain games. Or sorting and folding laundry, you know I mean, and just the social engagement while you're doing that, you know, not just leaving somebody alone to do their thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, which would you? I guess, not more important. Which would you say? We'll ask that. Which would you say is more important? Is it the engagement in interaction with other humans or is it in the engagement, meaning like kind of like the brain games or just activities that you're doing, whether they're by yourself or with somebody else?
Speaker 2:I would say it's definitely the social interaction. Really that's interesting, just talking to other people Just talking to other people Just having no matter what it know, just not just disengaged in her space so that she'd know that I was there. And then I touched her and and then I just looked at her and started asking her questions and talking to her and pretty soon she wanted to go home with me. But it's just cause she needed that social engagement and we all, do you know I mean. I don't like sitting at home alone.
Speaker 1:I know that's something that I like. A rant I will die on is, if the idea of sitting in front of your TV for 12 hours a day and then dozing off is boring to you, it's going to be boring for your older parent or loved one, like we're the same. So for those that don't understand what case management is, how do you define the role as a case manager?
Speaker 2:and then, especially in the context of senior care, as a case manager and then especially in the context of senior care. So a case manager is really someone who is, I would say, like the, the hub of everything that happens around, someone who, um, is the client, so, whether they have dementia or not, um, and so what we do is we kind of of we manage everything around that individual. So I mean medical needs, physical needs, spiritual needs, the list goes on.
Speaker 1:Even spiritual needs Like are you? As a case manager, trying to like align them up with whatever you know, their denomination of choice or things.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah, if I have if I have a client who says to me you know I can't get out and get to my Catholic services, can you have the priest come in and see me? You call the priest and you find that, or I would really like to go to my Catholic services. Can you help me with that? And usually it's just a matter of connecting with whatever diocese and just saying hey, do you have someone who can take her?
Speaker 1:Yeah, I picture case managers as like the like. Because you have so many different things you have case managers require balancing, like the needs of clients, the families, all the different care providers, so you're like. You're like the person standing on a rolling log with a bunch of spinning plates times 40 clients.
Speaker 2:How do you balance that? You just take it one at a time. And you really have to prioritize. You have to prioritize what the most important things are. First, so, yeah, it's a constant.
Speaker 1:Kind of the same Maslow starting at the bottom. Do they have food? Yes, yeah, exactly Kind of the same Maslow, starting at the bottom. Do they have food?
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, yeah exactly yeah, Make sure that the needs are met and the more urgent emergent type of needs are met.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, it just sounds it's a very meaningful work. It sounds exhausting to me because I'm like, seriously, you have one client and they have 17 different providers that you communicate. I don't know if that, maybe that's dramatic.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no, that's not dramatic. I actually.
Speaker 2:I actually had a client who had several different providers that I was interacting with and doctor, physical therapist, and the great thing the great thing for them is that, you know, they knew that I was the case manager and so they could actually call me and say, hey, do I have this right? Is this person actually seeing, still seeing this person, or you know? So I think for the providers it's great to have a case manager because we're, like I said, we're kind of like the hub like we know what's going going on in all aspects of this individual's life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I have to be excellent multitasker.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Like on a moment's notice. Oh yeah, susan, so-and-so yes, oh yeah, pull it up.
Speaker 2:Well, not only that, but you have to be very flexible. You have to be able to drop and run when there is an emergency.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so government programs, because within case management correct me if I'm wrong a lot of the time case managers are assigned to oversee. Typically it's like government programs or spending Like a private family that you know they're doing everything out of pocket.
Speaker 2:They don't necessarily have case managers, but like Medicaid. Medicare like different, no, but even private families. It's great to have a case manager, and there are case managers available for private pay.
Speaker 1:I didn't know that. Wow, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2:Especially because families are busy. You know, I mean, I yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Families are busy. Yeah, it's like, um, yeah, families, they have their own career and so and there are people that their entire career is managing a client and so trying to do two careers basically.
Speaker 2:In fact I had one daughter say to me she's like I'm so glad that you're there, she's like I would be there, but I have to work and I have my kids. And you know she said it's so nice to know that there's someone like you there for my mom.
Speaker 1:And you right now specifically work with a government program. You work with Medicaid Right there can be extremely complex and a lot of hoops and like dotted lines. How do you help families navigate the maze of resources while also making sure their loved ones are taken care of, because sometimes it does take time, or it's like your hands are, like figuratively tied because you can't move forward until the government does xyz yeah, and I think a lot of times people assume that the government is going to provide certain things that they just don't.
Speaker 2:So it's a matter of me being educated, us as case managers, being educated on what medicare can and cannot do, what the on what Medicare can and cannot do, what the programs and services can and cannot do, and us being connected with those programs and services.
Speaker 1:I imagine you've had to say no, medicaid doesn't do that. I'm sorry many times. How do you handle I don't want to call it backlash, but it's definitely frustrated feelings when there's this expectation that it's going to and then it gets taken away. Um so how do you navigate those complex emotions?
Speaker 2:You know, it's it, it a lot of it is just empathy, you know. I mean I would love to be able to provide everything for everyone but, I just can't and, like you said, sometimes your hands are tied.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's the worst part yeah because you really, I think, most like obviously you have outliers, but the, for the most part, people that get into working with older adults are caring people right that want to help um and when you can't, yeah they.
Speaker 1:They're not in the business for very long yeah, yeah, and then, if they are, it's hard if they already have to balance caring like companies, like helperly, a lot of the time. We have like our branch managers and caregivers and they're like I want to go do all these things for this client. I'm like that's so awesome we can do something, otherwise we're not, we're not going to have a business. It's like so hard to balance that as well on our side of like doing everything for the client but also not over you know like we need to be able to have money to pay everybody's income exactly, exactly, you know.
Speaker 2:But as case managers we're not past, you know, doing that extra thing every once in a while where I mean I actually one time went on my own facebook and said, hey, does anybody have these things for an apartment? Because I have a client who's moving out. And you know, new choice waiver only provides so much for somebody who's moving out. But they need they still need a TV, and they need this and they need. I had everything that my client needed in a matter of days.
Speaker 1:It's awesome. I just right before this, our Northern Utah branch manager text a picture. It's like this client didn't have a couch and we went and got one for her. So like things like that. They're so awesome. I just love it is if you have people like that, then you're, I think, in the right direction.
Speaker 2:Yeah, when you have people that are like figure it out, you know, like that, it's like although sometimes you have to be very careful as a case manager and not do for clients what they can do for themselves, because you also don't want to become their end-all, be-all, turn-to-you-for-every-little-thing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it definitely doesn't create a healthy working relationship because then if you can't do something that's not typically in your scope anyways? All of a sudden you're like the bad guy.
Speaker 2:My favorite thing is just to sit down and meet with a client and fix it with them, not for them.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's an important differentiation of like this is how we let's go through it together.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And then in the future if it comes up again like hey, we went through that, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so how do you? We're running time. Like I said, blows flies by.
Speaker 2:That's why I adjusted my watch.
Speaker 1:So we running time, like I said, blows, flies by. That's why I adjusted my watch so we're not here for an hour. Um, how do you see the roles of case managers evolving? As the senior population continues to grow, with baby boomers and then all the generations after that, there's going to be eventually a huge discrepancy between, I imagine, like available talent and case managers and seniors needing help. So how do? And then also the demand for dementia care all of that's going to be continuing increasing. How do you see case managers adjusting?
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness. So I mean I've seen it now. Just in the 25 plus years that I've been doing what I've been doing, a lot has changed and I think it'll continue to change and grow, and I think a key piece of that is us being advocates with our legislature and letting them know what the needs are, because unless they see it, they don't see it.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So, and I think a lot of them are being affected now with their family members that are getting dementia and right, exactly so.
Speaker 2:I think it's just being advocates. That's a huge thing, just being advocates for what you need and there are a lot of needs out there and, like you said, it's just I would hire my case managers that I worked with, or my care managers, my CNAs, whoever I was working or was working for me. My questions were a lot about how would you handle this or how you know, kind of feeling out what their personalities were like, what their characteristics were, because if you have somebody who's just going to go around pushing people and telling them what to do, those aren't the individuals that we need to work with, these older people, especially the ones who have dementia.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love those two things of being an advocate. I think a lot of the time people, when they're going through difficult things and maybe less and less nowadays but there's like a sense of wanting to be a stoic through it, of like we've got it, it's okay. We, you know we have three siblings, we can take care of mom, but like it's okay to tell the reality that you're living because that's part of being an advocate is, like, you know, sharing the whole truth, which is like, yes, you know we have four siblings and we're able to handle it, but it's exhausting, like we haven't been able to go on date. Like share the whole truth, because that is what makes it, so things can change, and then just compassionate people and understanding people and I love that.
Speaker 2:Yes, definitely, and I would say that the one thing that probably is a huge barrier for a lot of individuals, a lot of seniors that are out there, is transportation.
Speaker 1:That's one of our favorite things actually, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think that's the biggest headache that we have is transportation, because we have individuals of all different needs. You know levels of of um needing assistance, um, and so, yeah, our transportation needs are huge yeah, that's one.
Speaker 1:this isn't like a uh shout out or ad for help, really and anyway, but it's. Our favorite thing is getting out again, liking, likening older adults to ourselves, like if in the winter time, when it's harder to go out on your lawn and like play, we get so stir crazy and so like just to drive up the Canyon or something. I think it's so good for mental health to be able to get out of the house.
Speaker 2:Well, get out of their apartment and even for, like you know, the, the technical things, I mean the. You know even the transportation service that we have that takes individuals to their doctor's appointments. Oftentimes they just drop them off at the front door and leave them. Yeah, and our clients are lost.
Speaker 1:They don't know what to do.
Speaker 2:Right, exactly. Well, the dementia ones. We make sure they have someone with them. But you know even somebody. Who's just like where do I go? Where is the doctor in this building? You know, yeah, it's brutal. Who's just like where do I go? Where's? Where's the doctor in this building? You know, uh, yeah, it's it's brutal.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a huge need. Um, I have three more questions. So you coauthored dementia from the wrong end of the bed. What inspired the book and what key messages do you hope caregivers take away after they read it?
Speaker 2:Um, what inspired it was. Uh, dd and I uh worked together and there were a lot of situations that we saw that were happening with people that were coming to one of the dementia classes that we taught, and we thought, okay, is everybody struggling with this? And if they are, let's give some good insight and give some good skills for them to use. And so the book is actually a bunch of different vignettes that give you kind of set the stage of what's happening, and then we go back into it and explain what's really going on and why that's awesome really going on and why that's awesome.
Speaker 1:So, and so you'd hope for caregivers to read it, to be able to see the vignette or the event and go back and be able to analyze, kind of themselves, of what's actually going on Is that the goal?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean, I think, I think it's.
Speaker 1:In their own life.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's just, it's to be used as kind of a guide, in a way like oh, now I understand why my mom does this? It's basically like pattern recognition in a book, Like cause it's the first time they're seeing it in their real life.
Speaker 1:So let's give them this book with all these other patterns that they can be like. Wait, I think I know what that one is.
Speaker 2:Right, you know I could write a book on dementia, but it's not going to apply to everybody. Every situation and scenario is not going to apply to everyone, because everyone is so different. Nobody like I can't do some cookie cutter because no one is the same. If you have a loved one with dementia, do it. Right, right, right.
Speaker 1:It's the same idea where it's like there's not a book on how to be a parent, kind of thing, like there kind of is. But every kid is different, so you have to understand how to recognize what's going on and then adjust accordingly to your kid. Exactly Same idea except for your aging loved one.
Speaker 2:Exactly, that's awesome.
Speaker 1:So now you're on the Alzheimer's Association Advocate and Ambassador. What changes and advancements in dementia care do you think are the most urgent to try to happen now?
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh. And it's starting to happen. But we need more of it, and that is help for people who are at home and struggling and who fall in that middle category of I don't have the money to pay for somebody to come in and help, but I also don't qualify for these other services because I'm not poor enough.
Speaker 2:So, those people who kind of fit in the middle and those individuals who also are the sandwich generation I know. For me, I was taking care of my mother-in-law, my husband who had cancer, and my teenage children all during COVID. Yeah. At one point in time, my mother-in-law was on one floor of IMC and my husband was on another floor and I was going between the two floors and then back home and yeah, so just assistance for people who are struggling and who don't qualify or who can't pay for it on their own.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that there is. I agree, especially kind of within government programs there's a huge sort of all or nothing thing, like I was talking to somebody that they made it was like $18 more and so they lost out on like $7,000 of Pell Grant or something silly like that. It's like can I just like give you a $20 bill, I can get $7,000 a Pell Grant or something silly like that. It's like can I just like give you a $20 bill, I could get $7,000 back.
Speaker 2:There has to be something in the middle. It's the same for our seniors.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:You know you make. I had one client who actually got kicked off of our program because he decided he needed more money and decided to take a little job outside of and because of that now he's $4,000 a month. Now he doesn't get any of the services. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wish that there needs to. Yeah, that there's more kind of a sliding scale of, like you know, we can't pay for 40 hours a week of in-home care if you're making this much, but we can like something like that. It's so all or nothing, I agree. I think that's a huge urgent problem. And then the last question that I always like to ask is what advice do you have for an up and coming caregiver or somebody wanting to get into the caregiver space? You touched on a few earlier of like compassion and things like that, but what other advice would you give to that individual?
Speaker 2:compassion and things like that. But what other advice would you give to that individual? Um, I would say, go and and do some service in those arenas, because then you really know if that's something that you can do or want to do. Um, if you, if you go and help out, for example, in a dementia community and in assisted living, just be a volunteer. Um, they love volunteers, by the way. They need volunteers. You know the nursing homes need volunteers. Um, but do that and see if that's something that's really a fit for you.
Speaker 1:I love it. That's great, great, like practical advice to kind of basically try, before you buy Right, a lot of the times guests come on and it's very like hurrah, emotional, like you know you gotta we get. A lot of times guests come on. It's very like hurrah, emotional, like you know you got to be loving advice. But that was very practical, like go and try it out. You know, go for go every saturday for a month and if the reality of the day-to-day is not what you want for the next 40 years of your life.
Speaker 2:Maybe, if it's not your thing, you'll know it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, rather than oh, that's such good advice. So many people spend four, six, eight years in school never doing some sort of nugget version of what they're wanting to do or thinking they want, but I think that's why they have like internships in college, but you know, I wish they had internships at the beginning instead of at the end. You know, yeah, because you don't want to go and try it out, go spend four hours.
Speaker 2:You don't want to find out after four years of school, that this isn't what you want to do and don't sugarcoat it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, If a problem arises, let the interns see. That's awesome. Well, Cheryl, thank you so much for coming on Senior Care Academy. It was a really insightful episode. I know I really enjoyed it. We had some good laughs and then just good useful stuff for.